He floored it to 140 kph, then 180kph, then suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the copper's arrival.Pulling in behind him, the copper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the car.He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes.Today is Friday.If you can give me a new reason for speeding – a reason I've never before heard – I'll let you go..."The old gentleman paused then said, "Thirty three years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman;I thought you were bringing her back." Have a good day, Sir," replied the copper.QueenslandThe owner of a golf course on the Gold Coast was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said,"You graduated from the University of Queensland and I need some help. If I was to give you$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,"Everything but my. .something else. Why are you doing this anyway?What did I do to you to piss you off?"Lyda stared at Josh for a moment before laughing nervously. "What's wrongwith you? You sick in the head or something? I'm going back to work."Lyda's frivolous attitude angered Josh. didn't fully understand what washappening to him, but he had a faint ache of fear in his gut, as if hewere running out of time. He hands reached down to his shirt and tore itwide open, exposing his torso to Lyda. "Look at these, you stupid bitch!"He shouted. "These aren't any pair of tits! These are YOUR tits!"Lyda's smile was wiped instantly from her face. She stared at Josh'schest with eyes the size of dinner plates. She took a step or twobackwards, as if she were about to run out of the storage room and alerther manager about this lunatic who had hired a plastic surgeon to givehim a pair of boobs that were somehow identical to her own. "No," shemuttered. "Those aren't my...my..." They are," Josh hissed.Lyda slowly.
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